There's a fungus among us...

It has recently come to my attention that I need a new doctor.  She became my doctor after I worked in the same doctor's office in high school as a file clerk.  I loved working there alphabetizing patients files and never peaking to see how much they weighed. 

I was a senior in high school.
Her son was a senior in high school.
So of course we dated.

He was my first real boyfriend.  He would pick me up in his mustang.  He would write me poems.  He even sent roses to my school.  He also told his mother everything we talked about and I would have to hear all about it later at the office.
So I dumped him cold turkey.

Now to be fair I had zero experience in life, relationships, and how to work a basic flip cell phone.  I moved on, HE has moved on, but his mother clearly has not.

I only see his mom (my doctor) when I am at my best.  Like last week when I went in for a rash on my torso.  She was not in the room for more than two minutes before she was gushing about how great her son is, how fabulous his job is, and how beautiful his new wife is.

I, being polite, was trying to not scratch my rash and smile and nod agreeing with how successful he had become .  I start crawling out of my skin.  After what seemed like an eternity she finally asked me to lift my shirt and with a gleam in her eye diagnosed that I have a fungus.

That's right folks.
Talk about wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
Out of all the embarrassing diseases, this one is pretty far up on the list.

Faster than I could pull my shirt down she had convinced me to follow her to her office where she preceded to show me photos from said ex-boyfriend's wedding, including bridal portraits.  I get it, I am the perfect daughter-in-law that you always wanted.  But I have moved on, your son has clearly moved on, and you would think after 10 years you would have moved on as well.

So the search is on for a new doctor that will only judge me for my fungus and not for rash (pun intended) decisions I made in 2003. 

On a lighter note the fungus/rash is clearing up.  And it is good to be back. 


  1. Hahahahahah I laughed out loud SO many times during this post. Can I feature this on my blog? So freaking good.

    1. Haha of course!! Let's hope that laughter is the only thing contagious about this post! :)

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  3. I thought you were gone forever! But you're not! Yayyy!

    1. I know! It seemed like forever didn't it!? Glad to be back and know that you are reading! I will have to get your cute button up asap! :)

  4. the way you told this is hilarious! is it tinea versicolor? i get that sometimes- it flares up. if i feel it coming on i use selsun blue and it wards it off.... seriously.

    1. Thanks for the tip! :) She told me what it was, but I couldn't pay attention with everything that was going through my head! If it comes back I will try the blue! Thanks!!!